Okay, yeah just gonna open this one up with a bit o’ music trivia, then – boom! – pivot it into the actual subject matter of the blog post with a Derren Brown-worthy sleight of hand segue.
Here we go…
Did you know that in Barbadian singer Rihanna’s 2005 dancehall-inflected breakout hit ‘Pon De Replay’ the chorus of which runs
‘Hey Mr DJ, song pon de replay’
The original lyrics of the song were actually:
“Hey Mr Internet Person get pon de Simply Thrilled Flailing List”
Except, it was changed last minute by her label Def Jam as it didn’t rythme half as well.
…And also for the fact that it made no sense whatsoever, given our company Simply Thrilled and our Flailing List which we’re introducing to you now wouldn’t even exist for another decade plus.
Woah, what was that intro? Gosh, even I don’t know what half of that was about…
Anyway, what I was going to say was, I want to do a mailing list, but I want to do it different.
Like, currently you have the company mailers that’re like ‘subscribe to our mailer and get 10% off’ where you get infrequent bouts of offers, news and the such like.
Then there’s the more personal ones from individuals who are like ‘I’m a human just like you, look here’s a picture of my wife and kids for some reason to prove that I’m a human just like you’
Then there’s the ones that a few production companies/video agencies like us do which are all like ‘hey here’s some really good videos made by other people that are so honestly blow-me-down spectacular they make our own work look frankly pedestrian by comparison’
These mailing lists… You know what I do with them? I scroll right on down to the bottom and I hammer the unsubscribe button with all the febrile energy of a hyped child playing a game of Whack-A-Mole.
Not just that, a child who’s been imbibing a rich fusion of that new mango Coke Zero, strawberry laces and the blue Smarties with all the bad type of E numbers in them.
Imagine, that child now, in your mind’s eye.
That child is me: Sweetshop-buzzed and manic, hammering the unsubscribe button again and again despite the fact that I know, know with my logical brain that it takes but one click to actually perform the action of unsubscribing. But still I tappity tap tap at my mouse key, like a demon Woody Woodpecker.
That. That is what I do with your mail-shots, all of them.
So what I’m saying is – drop yer digits in the box, drop yer adi in the box. Below.
If Riri is on it, why not you eh? Riri got taste, mate. Riri know best.
Let’s play. Xx